Don’t be confused by my title, I guess some friends of mine have known this for quite some time. But I’ve yet to be fully honest with anyone. I guess, this is my way of telling my friends how I’m feeling. Maybe not exactly “right now”, but for some time.
So I shall begin.
Have you ever felt like, your nice-ness isn’t noticed? I mean, we all are pretty nice people, but I guess I just wanted for people to acknowledge and maybe sorta appreciate the fact that I’m being nice being I want to, not because I have to..
Well, there came a time where I finally met someone whom I thought was appreciative and notice my being nice. And I guess, I sorta got carried away before things got complicated. Worse, things got EVEN more complicated.
To keep the long story short (and not to bore you with the details), I felt that this someone’s existence, made me appreciate life, and believe that there is someone out there, who is appreciative of me and my actions. And of course, of who I am.
During the course of which, I hoped that I made this someone felt that his existence is worth it. That there are reasons things happen which leads us to where we belong in the end.
However, I guess we both just wasn’t mature enough, or that we were only fated to meet, things didn’t turn out the way I had hoped. I am thankful to this someone for at least letting me know that someone out there, will be able to accept me for my quirky ways.
I have no idea if this someone will read my blog, but I guess I’ve had enough of being sad, demoralised, and basically screwing my life over someone who doesn’t know how to keep things clear-cut. I am someone who gives all or takes all. And if I can’t give my all to you, I will take my all from you (may not mean anything to you anyway…). So I’m currently trying my best to cut ties with this someone, but not to the point of deleting him off facebook and from my phone (I’m not that childish…yet).
I do hope that this is the real “ending” to something that didn’t begin in the first place. Things are now the way they are because of someone’s decision. I might have some responsibility to that, but I think I’ve done enough to myself and someone, so this stupidity must stop. Once and for all. (:
I’m sure this is good news to all my friends. And I hope I’ve humoured you with a wordy post good enough, because I’m soon going to post my backdated entry full of pictures. :D